#my sleeping schedule sucks
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WHY ARE YOU STILL AWAKE
Um………….. because um……… heh….. idk
#😢 I’m sorry vivs but I sleep at like 1AM or 2 AM 😭😭😭#my sleeping schedule sucks#(I ruin it myself)#I’m gonna sleep soon tho ^_^ dw lol#💛! asks#💛! Vivikins!!
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Going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 4am is absolutely mental.
What the hell has happened to my sleeping schedule? Wait. Is it bad? Or is it good? It counts as sleeping and waking early, right? Oh god.
#ali talks#my sleeping schedule sucks#jfc i hate it here#but i at least get near my 8 hours of sleep so i guess that counts#im just dumb#i need sleep#proper sleep
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alienation, tolerance, incorrigible
#trigun#vash the stampede#checkadii#hello vash the stampede from hit manga series Trigun. projection beam#halfway through the eyes I paused and chuckled close enough welcome back ceaseless watcher#balloon deflating noise . iunno#2025 is the year trust. woooohoooo#I should probably sleep . but also if I sleep then time moves too fast and I don’t get to do things#being active at night SUCKS BRO + esp if you’re sleepy#god forbid I fix my sleep schedule for uni and don’t feel like shit abt it#waaawaaaawaaaaaaaaaw. working on that vw wip. and a vash wip. and a knives one. and a happy joyful knives one flying
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Sooo NONE of you want to fall deeply unhealthily in love with me rn……?
#:(#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#sorry i watched too much Media™️ again#the insanely (literally) in love trope got to me#you could just like become a little deranged about me#as a treat#no yeah you’re right realistically that would suck#i GUESS we’ll have to settle for you falling healthily and normally in love with me rn#👀#im gay and i like sleeping#scheduling my 2am feeling insane posts for my feeling chill era time of the day#nothing could go wrong
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#134
The scene the hero arrives to is nothing to brag about—a dumpster set alight, some of its flaming rubbish fluttering about harmlessly. The superhero sent them here on the basis of a villain, though, so they’re going to figure out who set fire to this thing if it’s the last thing they do.
No one seems to be around. Maybe this is one of those startup villains, the ones who want a taste of the criminal life but are too afraid to plunge in the deep end. An easy catch, the hero thinks. Simply wait for a slip-up and throw the sucker in jail.
The hero approaches the literal dumpster fire with the intention of looking for clues. What they don’t expect is for the criminal to leap out at them. They grapple for the hero with a vicious snarl and the hero reacts instinctively, whipping their arm out to dislodge them before throwing them down to the ground.
The criminal rolls away, making an attempt at what is probably a bound back to their feet and failing. A heartfelt, “ow,” leaks out as they carefully pick themself off the pavement.
They’re young, the hero can see that. Black clothes—something of a homemade villain’s outfit. A child who’s gotten a flare for rebellion and wanted to live a little. The hero was never one for inspirational talks, but if they can stop a villain in the making, they might as well try.
“I get the impression you’ve a taste for the low life,” they start carefully, “but this isn’t the way to go. Believe me, I’ve seen my fair share of the villainous lifestyle and it isn’t the a good—”
The hero’s words trail off as the kid looks up at them with a scowl. She nudges long hair out of her face, brushing dirt off the shirt the hero has almost definitely seen before. The superhero sent them out for a villain, not for this. Is this a test? Is the superhero mad?
The hero isn’t good with kids as it is, let alone their boss’s daughter.
“What on earth are you doing out here?” the hero snaps. There’s a villain around—it’s dangerous.”
“Damn right it is.” The kid wipes her nose on her sleeve, putting her fists up like she’s genuinely considering a fight. “Wanna guess who the villain is?”
She tries to rush the hero, and it’s here that they realise, ah, she is considering a fight. They sidestep her swing and, as carefully as an attack will allow, toss her on the ground again.
“Does your dad know you’re doing this?” the hero asks sharply.
“He will soon enough,” she spits.
She moves in for another strike. Where she’s aiming for the hero will never guess, but they bat her hand away easily and push her back. “Stop,” they demand bluntly. “You’re going to hurt yourself or, god forbid, someone else.”
“Isn’t that what being a villain is?” The kid laughs, and the hero hates how much it sounds like her father. “Being evil and ruining everything? I thought I was already good at that!”
She leaps in for another punch. The hero, already distracted, doesn’t dodge in time and her fist smashes into their chest.
The hero doesn’t move. The kid’s start of a victorious laugh dies down and she pulls her hand away.
“I hit you,” she points out coldly. “You’re meant to on the floor or something now.”
“You’re good at being evil and ruining everything?”
The kid’s annoyance gets replaced by what the hero can see from a mile away is carefully crafted indifference. “Sure,” she says shortly. “That’s why I thought maybe I’d fit in better here. And I do.”
The hero stares at her for a moment. She raises her fist, but the hero holds a hand up to her and she miraculously listens.
“I’m sorry,” the hero says, although they’re not sure what they’re apologising for. “I’m not fighting you. Go home.”
“You’re a hero!” the kid cries as the hero starts looking for a way to dampen the fire now devouring the poor dumpster. “Act like it!”
“Go home,” they repeat a little sharper, “and stay there. I’ll speak to your dad.”
“He’s meant to find out about this himself,” she snaps.
The hero finds a fire extinguisher, mysteriously tucked under one of the other dumpsters. The kid is pointedly not looking at them when they pull it out. “Don't you worry. I’m not telling him about this. I think he and I need a little chat, that’s all.”
The kid has nothing to say to that. She stamps her foot and huffs momentarily, and then she’s off, abandoning the hero with the physical and metaphorical fire.
#creative writing#writblr#writers on tumblr#writing#writing community#heroes and villains#hero x villain#hey friends uh. youre gonna have to bear with me#i just started my new job (hurray!) but that means i am tired and busy A Lot and cant write as much as i did (sucks)#so! im still here and im still writing and reading. itll just be a lil slower. my humblest apologies#i feel like i say that a lot but goddamn this week. gotten home after 6 and its just dinner then shower then bed. for 5 days of the week#rip my social life or sleep schedule or time to write or
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I really loved your angry kitten knight Max AU, and was hoping there was some more you managed to write at all? :)
hello!!! oh i'm so happy you love him! to be honest there's this thing I've been turning around in my head, but it wasn't written. until now i guess.
cw: mentions of blood and injury (does it count like animal injury if it's shifter max? max gets hurt but daniel takes care of him!). This is still soft, but just be careful of that <3 part 1 and part 2 (now with a shiny new tag to collect them all under #kitten knight max au)
Daniel wakes up to the sound of something thumping softly against his door.
It's not loud, but there's something peculiar about it, enough to make his instincts wake him up. For a second, he lays very still, straining his ears, wondering if he had imagined it, until the sound comes again. A soft thump, then something that is almost scratching, then another thump.
Daniel gets up quietly, grabbing the hunting knife he keeps hanging next to his cloak, approaching the door. The sound starts again, no real pattern to it.
Daniel steadies his hand and then opens the door.
For a second, he thinks nothing is there. The dark corridor of the barracks is empty, the flickering light of the lantern near the stairs throwing long shivery shadows that don't quite reach his door, but before he has to wonder if he is dreaming after all, a soft huff makes him look down.
Near his feet there is a small kitten, looking up at him with bright blue eyes.
Daniel lets the hand holding the knife drop as he feels himself smile.
"Hi, baby," he whispers, not even annoyed at being woken up anymore.
"What are you doing here?" he asks, starting to crouch down. It's unusual for Max to be wandering around here in his other form, especially when it's the middle of the night and he is not on watch, at least to Daniel's knowledge, but it's not an unwanted surprise. Maybe Max just wanted cuddles, something he still hesitant to ask for in his human form.
And then he is on one knee, his eyes now used to the dim lighting, and he realises two things.
One, Max is not standing up, and two, there's blood on the floor.
"Shit, Maxy, are you hurt?" Daniel's heart is suddenly beating much faster as he abandons his knife on the floor and reaches for Max, fingers hovering over him without knowing where it would be safe to touch.
He's never seen Max hurt in his cat form before. He's seen Max bleed, he's seen Max dirty and bruised, he's seen Max with a bandaged sprained wrist, but it's different when he's like this. It's different when he looks like a baby kitten, not a grown man, and Daniel can't tell how bad it is.
"Can I pick you up?" he asks, wanting to take him inside, wanting to keep him safe, wanting to fix, fix, fix. His breath keeps getting caught in his chest.
Max blinks at him, his eyes not fully opening again, nodding his little head, and Daniel scoops him up carefully, trying to not jostle him too much. Max still lets out a thin, pained hiss, and Daniel shushes him softly, apologizing as he grabs his knife, takes him inside and finally closes the door.
He grabs his cloak from where it's hanging, placing it on his small desk and putting Max down on top of it, rushing to turn his oil lamp on, eager to assess the damage.
When he turns back around, Max is snuggling into the folds of the cloak, eyes closed, one of his front paws kneading the fabric already, self-soothing.
With the light now on, Daniel can see how he's holding his other front paw awkwardly, leaning towards his other side. He doesn't know how to approach this. A wounded person he knows how to help, but this? He doesn't know anything about cats, other than what he's learned from Max, which seems like not much at all at the moment.
"Can you shift back?" he asks, knowing it's a stupid question right away. If Max could turn back, he would probably have done so already, instead of having to scratch at his door to be let in.
Max opens one eye again, glaring at him. Fair enough.
"Is it your...paw?" He doesn't know if it's rude to call it a paw. Should he still be calling it an arm? His knowledge of everything Max feels suddenly very unsatisfactory, something he is not used to.
Max meows slightly, just a tiny little sound, then moves to expose his belly.
There, under the fur matted with blood, Daniel can see a long scratch, extending almost for the whole length of his right side.
"Shit, Maxy," Daniel hisses, coming closer again. "did this happen in your human form?"
He doesn't know if it matters, but a cut like that doesn't look accidental, and he can't imagine how a kitten would have been able to get it. Max nods at him, then closes his eyes again.
"Okay." Daniel takes a deep breath, then another.
Sure, Max is a cat now, but it can't be that different from helping a human, right?
"I'm going to clean it, now, alright?"
Max doesn't respond, but he stays where he is, pink nose buried in Daniel's cloak and cut exposed, so Daniel takes that as permission enough.
In the end, it's not as bad as it seemed. It's a long cut, but it's not deep, and it's already stopped bleeding for the most part. It turns out to be lucky too that Max is so tiny, because Daniel has a very limited amount of bandages in his room, and he doesn't feel like going to find more. As it is though, they're just enough to safely wrap the wound up after applying some salve on it. Max keeps still and quiet the whole time, as stoic as a kitten as he would have been as a human, something so incredibly Max about his scrunched up face that it almost makes Daniel tear up.
"There you go, baby, is it better?" he asks when he's done, washing his hands in his little basin. His cloak is ruined, but he doesn't care about that, not when Max looks much more relaxed, tired eyes struggling to open again to look at him. He's been chewing on Daniel's cloak since the moment Daniel had started cleaning him, a mix of self-soothing and pain relief, but he lets it go now to meow at him, a yes and a thank you mixed in one.
"Can I do anything else to help?" Now that he's not using his hands anymore, Daniel feels uncertain again, feels like anything he's doing is insufficient. He wants to know how this happened, wants to know who did it, but knows it would be useless to ask when Max can't speak.
Max doesn't answer, but instead tries to push himself to a standing position, because he's obviously a screaming maniac even when he's a kitten.
"Fuck, don't do that!" Daniel exclaims, probably too loud for the middle of the night, reaching forward to scoop Max up before he can hurt himself further.
"You are insane, I just finished fixing you up!" he scolds.
His irritation doesn't last two seconds though, as Max pushes into his chest, purring weakly.
Sometimes it hits Daniel like a punch, how much he loves him.
"Fine, you're cute," he grumbles, knowing the term will make Max hiss at him, which he does, albeit half-heartedly. "Sleep?"
In bed, he helps Max to his usual position, curled up next to his collarbone, trying to be mindful of his hurt side, petting the soft fur between his ears with one finger.
"You scared me," he whispers in the newfound darkness. Max's purring pauses for a moment as he pushes his nose harder against Daniel's neck in apology, before resuming with even more vigor.
I love you, Daniel thinks, not wanting to say it loud when Max can't say it back.
He hopes Max will be able to turn back after he's rested, even if they'll have to figure out the bandages situation again then, otherwise it will be hard to explain the absence of the Captain without exposing his secret. He hopes Max will feel better in the morning, his blue eyes not quite as hazy. He hopes he did the correct things, helped him right.
He feels the moment Max falls asleep, his purring petering out, his little body going lax, and he moves his head slightly to press his cheek against warm fur.
He stays awake for the rest of the night, counting Max's steady breaths.
#have been turning a 'hurt kitten knight max' scenario around in my head for days#im sorry my baby <3#kitten knight max au#he'll be perfectly fine btw!#maxiel#my writing#it's almost 4 am and i fucked my sleep schedule again so if this sucks...sorry#and if there are typos no there aren't <3#it's not angry kitten knight but i hope you like it anyway?#couldn't find it in my brain to make him angry i just want my baby to be taken care of :(
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It's waldy
Futur water too but not done
#welcome home#partycoffin#wally darling#welcome home arg#welcome home fanart#welcome home wally#ive had these for a teeny wally#while* uhhh wally stop invading my brain i did NOT mean to type wally but uh yeah#had future wally like that for ages already and uhhh my motivation is realyyy poopy and sucks aw man#ill make a second look for future wally too becuz idk blehhhh#i dunno wut else 2 say OH YEAH got a therapy appointment on aug 5 ANDDD my b day is on augist 28 yayyayay ANDDD one of my aunts suport me#ANDDD uh idk my sleep schedule sucks#im awake at 7AM i didnt sleep at alllllll aw darn#im soooo excited cuz clown said welcome home and i went yippieeee#i get ideas but then my brain makes me forget over and over so its a littleeee frustrating but dw ill just doodle like uh#cats with human faces or sumthin idk#wut do i dooooooo aaaaaaAaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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draw what makes you happy! (omori catholic school au)
(more info under the cut)
basil is a TA bc he's one of the only dedicated artists in the school lol
none of them are friends until this class
they got seated randomly (didn't get to choose their table)
i kinda imagined kel to be those religious guys who are genuinely really nice to basically anyone regardless of their "school clique", but can be unknowingly ignorant (he takes on a more mature role here since hero is not as available)
aubrey probably tries acting tough but is secretly very straight-laced
sunny is .. well. sunny. lol. he doesn't have mari-related trauma so he's kinda just an endearing weirdo here
basil isn't exactly a class student like them, but decides that their table is his favorite anyway and he becomes their friend too
oh also , they don't live nearby to each other in this au. makes their friendship seem more like a happenstance this way
#hell yea i'm posting this at almost 4am. tumblr (and my sleep schedule) can suck a buttcheek#i always underestimate how difficult it is to draw comics jfgdjhkdfg .. 4 pages and i'm defeated#also i'm still taking au name ideas bc erm idk if i can keep referring to this as just omori au#anyway. hope u enjoy :)#omori#kel omori#aubrey omori#sunny omori#basil omori#omori au#fan art#comic#becki draws stuff n stuff
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some radishes i forgot to post i think???
#bbart#raditz#Anyway tomorrow will suck I stayed up too late and ruined my sleep schedule#oopsiesssss
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cw // slight ooc?, pregnancy, allusion to cannibalism/cults
forgotten au / apocalypse au belongs to @digenerate-trash
cult leader sydney makes his debut!!!
i have been procrastinating on this comic for too long that my laptop started throwing a tantrum, apologies for the sudden drop in quality HJBREBHF i just wanted to get it done quickly.
there was supposed to be a confrontation scene where whitney catches sydney before he takes eri (pc) into the library. but again im at my wit's end and my laptop demands rest bJHRJHFJHE
#sydney the faithful#sydney the fallen#forgotten au / apocalypse au#fan art#art#mine#my fan art#my art#dol#dol related#dol sydney#dol pc#eri the orphan#pregnancy cw#ooc#cannibalism cw#cult cw#degrees of lewdity#I TRIED MAKING IT DRAMATIC BUT IT INSTEAD SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF ME HJBRFBJEBJHRFBJHERF#okay its 3 am i need to sleep now BHJERBJHFBHERF#but yeah i actually want to draw a bit more for these but uweh#my schedule and exams#they're making it so hard JBHERFBHJEBRF#after this i have a swap au idea i need to do -3- ....#my hands are so full.... *looks at my skinny little fish fingers*
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Roll The Dice
I just miss Gur. I want to see Gur
bonus:
i drew this shortly after 'cold company' got introduced and we all thought "make all rolls with disadvantage until you succeed on a move with a 10+" would be more of a problem. haven't really had an opportunity to use it...! it's still cute though so i colored it in a bit. gur_bonk.png
#you know. my friend?#(deadpan) wow figure sure has been rolling well. thats great#gur sevraq#figure in bismuth#rosa art#fatt#friends at the table#palisade#palisade spoilers#i edited something in this drawing but you will not see it because. for some reason this file is stupidly huge#i didnt notice my canvas that that big (!?!!) but basically ive had to resize it to post this. & im not doing that again its not happening#...i might edit some other stuff i just had an idea. but i already spent too much time on this OTL#anyways.gur#/i'm/ about to become distracting and difficult if he doesnt show up again soon#late night gur thoughts for the 3rd night in a row.its becoming untenable. well mostly my sleep schedule just sucks so bad lately
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something new, something that scares me
gender non-confirming reader (implied afab due to pregnancy) x miguel "spider-man 2099" o'hara
angst. comfort. with a secret hanging over the complicated relationship the both of you have, miguel is faced with his rot.
warnings: pregnant reader, discussion of sickness (throwing up, fatigue), discussion of loss of child, miscommunication, allusion to (reader's) past relationship trauma, heavy angst. not beta-read.
words: 5644
Your apartment echoed with your choked gags, the bathroom lit aflame with artificial light soon after the hurried stumbling of yours trailing from your bed. Sleep blurred your gaze, gross and sticky yet you couldn’t bring yourself to wipe the gunk. Your bones felt heavy as your pajama shirt slipped up your belly, exposing the soft flesh to the coldness of your home. The sensation made you suck a sharp breath through your teeth, as miserable and alone as ever.
This great big universe of yours was quaint and quiet, only ever needing to go out on your patrols at night. Sleep was gratefully given during the day, only ever interrupted by the gruff–staticy voices seeping into your apartment from the walkie-talkie that leaked codes and warnings of crime– you’ve never been the one to get sick. Not until this absolutely beautiful morning at the ripe time of 4:27AM.
The entire week leading up to today was filled with waves of nausea, interrupting the time you spent to yourself when months grew dull and delicate. Work was never really needed, graciously, as you lived off your success in the medical field. This allowed you to wallow in the comfort of your duvet, bedridden and hungry and moody. As another pitiful cough wracked your form and bile strayed on your tongue, the watch you kept hidden away in the bedside drawer began to illuminate the corner of your room in an orange hue. The warm sweat against your forehead almost stung painfully when the blood from your face drained in anxiety. The warm color and murmur of muffled words that would normally fill your lungs with a crash of adrenaline and mild irritation instead left your palms slipping off the toilet in panic.
You haven't been beckoned to join alongside a mission with another member of the Spider Society in a while. And you would accept one in a moment's notice if you weren't slumped against the cold tile floor of the bathroom.
There's never been a moment where you didn't answer Miguel's check-ins, whether he was asking for your presence for affection or actual help.
The relationship between you and Miguel, to say the very least, was complicated.
You were like the calm before the storm; the soft tide of an ocean meeting the shore with a gentle embrace. Your voice came out like raindrops meeting the morning dew of grass, yet when met with dire situations– it is as if someone brought forth a lighter to your skin and burnt you aflame. You knew how to hold your own, something others didn't expect of your quaint, observant temperament.
Miguel, was– an enigma within himself. He was a shadow of what he once was, you had learned through the stories he had told you during the nights where your watch felt too heavy on your wrist, drowned away in the bedsheets of your lover that held you as if you were going to leave at the mention of another universe– gone without any evidence that you even existed in the first place.
Ever since you learned, the insecurities that plagued his words in the darkness of the room you crashed in every now and then held greater weight. The white headband and blue wrapping bow resting upon the nightstand, gathering dust by each passing day, caught your eye more than it did not. As Miguel met your lips with his own in sleepy desperation, wrapping his arms around your waist to bring you even closer– the trauma haunting his gaze whenever he recollected his thoughts flashed behind your eyelids.
Your first mistake is that you grew to love the shadow of what he once was, grew too attached to a man that wasn't under your protection of a universe that was your own.
The babble of sentences seeping through the cracks of your bedside cabinet had your heart lurching, an all-too-familiar voice passing through the silence like a knife striking through air. His voice was tentative, an exhausted repeat of your name before he heaved another "voice-mail" (or whatever is equivalent to such a thing on a universe-hopping device) into the technological watch. You can already imagine the dark bags right underneath his eyes, framed by definition of his features and wrinkles conjured through stress and age. His hair would be swept back with his claws, you're sure of it. Around this time in your universe it was roughly the same to his, perhaps an hour or two before him. But time didn't matter to the man who put himself in charge of a society full of clones of the same guy, give or take an infinite amount of variations alongside said-same-guy.
As your chin pressed down on the toilet seat, skin damp with sweat from the constant cycle of insomnia and sickness– you allowed yourself the indulging selfishness of imagining Miguel comforting you. But you were afraid of how he'd react to the secret you've kept under the wraps for a couple weeks now, skillfully and hopefully subtly avoiding him. Now you've been homebound, and letting him see you in this state would surely encourage him to come through that apartment door himself.
The problem was, you and Miguel were not officially together. It was complicated, with him dancing into his life and hooking up with you– spending nights wrapped in your embrace as soft huffs of his breath would meet the shell of your ear. And then he'd disappear for a month and fade back onto nothing more than a coworker, a person you'd nod to in the offices because Miguel was not one to wave.
And to tell him you were most, no– definitely pregnant, you were unsure on how he'd respond.
Miguel has never bared his teeth towards you unless in bed, his fangs grazing the juncture where your neck meets your shoulder in the soft lull of a long day– but you knew he was not one necessarily subject to change. Something out of order. A situation abrupt and unexpected that would change the future and possibly everything that followed.
His past was never foreign, he'd let bits and pieces of himself slip past that guarded exterior of his in the safety of your blankets and pillows and kisses– but that's why fear shot up your spine and settled back down into the pit of your stomach. Miguel has tried more than once to create his own reality of what a family should be– and lost the only thing that has ever truly been important to him twice. Your baby would never be Gabriella, and you couldn't allow your future bundle of love to be put under that expectation.
And, and plus, you weren't even sure if you wanted to keep it. The idea of parenthood had you swallowing back spit like you'd just been dunked into freezing water, the circumstances unknown and dangerous. A father from a whole entire universe? That was stupid. Miguel would call you stupid, too. You knew it. Just like the one who treated you before.
Wetness blurred your vision before you even had a chance to get up, stumbling into the kitchen for a glass of water. You knew you looked like shit, eyes puffy and lips chapped as you pulled at your pajamas to get more comfortable. As you down half a water, a knock vibrates your apartment. It must be a neighbor, you thought. You were probably too loud with these fits you’ve been having, slumped over a toilet and being miserable.
Opening the door, your blood runs cold and the sweat that was finally beginning to stay away after wiping your face came back worse. It was the man that’s been haunting your every living moment, both in wake and in dreams. He looked absolutely wrecked beyond the facade he tried to put up– sunken eyes and unruly hair. “You’ve ignored another call of mine.” Was all he said, pointed and brooding.
“Miguel,” you began as you brought yourself inviting him in before you could even catch yourself. He had that stoic yet bothered look on his face, one that’s almost permanently etched within the few expressions he can muster.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" Miguel's voice, confused and raising ever so slightly as his muddled gaze scanned over your pacing form. No hellos, how are you doing, direct as always. When your nails met your teeth in a nervous habit, Miguel exhaled heavily as if he was trying to calm himself down. "No reason, no call– just pure radio silence! I came here because I thought something happened– Dios mío–" He sounded pained, accent growing ever thicker as he shuffled a long-sleeved, futuristic athletic shirt off. The top part of his suit met your eyes, and you had to rip your guilty stare off his form as you remembered who the both of you are; two lines on a graph, who should have simply stayed parallel to one another. Intersecting with a man who has flipped your world upside down and spawned so many opportunities just to disappear the next night– you couldn't take it anymore.
His sweatpant-clad ankles met your downcast attention as Miguel came closer, his touch contrasting that irritated voice of his. Index meeting the skin of your jaw just right to your chin, he guided your eyes to his own. A frown tugged at his features, winning the war when he so desperately tried to be stoic. Without a word, Miguel scanned the splotches on your face and dried wetness coating your cheeks. He knew you had been crying, he always does.
His touch is so inviting, so welcoming that you just want to surrender your entire being to him. To crawl right into the ribcage you were level with and to create a home, nestled as close to his heart that he tried to keep at bay.
People who aren't lovers shouldn't be holding one another like this, you thought as his thumb met the corner of your lip and his index rested upon your chin. Miguel's lips carved themselves into a deeper scowl as a choked sob erupted the silence following his question, his own hardness beyond that gaze of his shattering like an unlucky mirror.
Miguel has never had to put up with you in such an emotional atmosphere. You thought you were scaring him away, but he only took your hands in his and rubbed the flesh of your knuckles as you cried.
Guilt struck your lungs and constricted your breathing, "we shouldn't be doing this." You were full on crying now, you felt the tears rolling down the hot shame igniting your cheeks. You heard your voice crack under the pressure of avoiding him, of depriving your life of the one you loved the most. You snatched your hands away from his grasp, and the moment he let you, you regretted it.
"I shouldn't love you."
"You love me?"
The question tumbling from his agape lips was nothing less than sincere as you snapped your neck towards his shell-shocked expression. You didn't mean to say that– too caught up in emotions and memories and it just came out–
So instead you covered your mouth and shook your head rapidly, stepping away yet never turning away from him. Your sobs wracked your body for the millionth time that night, reminding you of the emptiness you felt on your knees, slumped against the toilet and fending off sickness. A flash of hurt made itself apparent in his gaze, but Miguel knew you were lying.
He stood there like a statue in the middle of your cozy living room, looking like he was sculpted to be here. To be at home, with you.
If you were two other people, the both of you would be snuggled on the couch that cost way too much at a furniture store going out of business, buttery fingers accidentally intertwining in a bowl of chile-lime seasoned popcorn– having pointless debates on whether or not the next character to die in a B-listed horror film would be the clueless jock or stereotypical book-nerd. Miguel would be complaining "Why are we watching this, anyways? Película de mierda, should have listened to my recommendations from the start."
"I do not want to be stuck at home on a Friday night watching documentaries with you."
And he'd give you a side-eye with a scowl he truly didn't mean, before hitting you in the forehead with a piece of seasoned popcorn.
But this was not another universe where the two of you were intertwined, birthed on the same Earth and time that had you sharing classes and awkward, immature conversations. You would never be granted the experience of that pining phase, dancing around one another under sweet circumstances that consisted of healthy households and loving parents. You were you, holding your stomach in anticipated nausea. And he was Miguel, clenching the claws into his palms with his grey streak hovering uncharacteristically over his eyebrow.
The couch was empty, the television was not on. It was cold.
"We can't continue doing this." You sighed, daring to keep your darting eyes from that rare, broken expression painting his features and daring him to look older. "I'm tired." You fumbled with your hands, bruised and battered from the anxious picking and nights you stayed glued to the toilet. Miguel's eyes met the marks lining the flesh, and he challenged the empty space between the both of you. You knew that he knew he preached to never interfere with what's bound to happen in one another's worlds, that everything is supposed to keep itself flowing without the interference of even one, single organism from another universe. Yet here he was, fighting to keep this situation in the palms of his shaky hands. To hold onto you and never let go. "I'm sorry l, I'm sorry." He whispered into your hair, ruffled from the rough evening you've had. "Perdóname, por favor."
The mention of cutting this, whatever this was, had him crumbling into your frame that hugged the wall that met your back. His hands snaked themselves around your waist before tiredly settling on the softness peeking from your rumpled pajama shirt. His forehead met your shoulder, hunching into the warmth you omitted like he was a freezing man starved from fire. Miguel shifted so his nose met the crook of your neck, dampness meeting the tendons there as he inhaled deeply. "I'm, I'm sorry." He chanted like a broken vinyl, voice breaking into barely above a whisper.
Miguel thought it was because of all those times he had left you hours after he kissed the bruises littering your skin, the marks he branded into your flesh like a possessive sigil. And he wasn't wrong, Miguel was absolutely terrible for that.
But the pain that tore open your heart and festered into the valves was the aching lit aflame from the nights ruined from sick, never soothed from the one who loved like he was starved and accepted affection like he was desperate, but never given the opportunity of you seeing the morning rays meet the stress dotting his relaxed forehead in the peacefulness of slumber. That was the breaking point.
"Miguel," a sigh escapes your lips before you could contain it. "Please leave." A desperate plea that you didn't fully believe in. All that you gained in response was his hold growing tighter, no words exchanged.
"No, no, no." He breathed into your being, mixing himself into you until you couldn't tell where you ended and he began. "I can't go, not until I know this is back to right again."
You shook your head, cheek grazing further into the curls that threatened to tickle you with each motion. "It can't be, Miguel. Just go back home."
"And why is that," Miguel says your name, fumbling slightly as he almost murmurs a pet name in the vulnerability of the moment. "This, what's happening– we can fix this as long as you tell me what's going on, angel. Just tell me and I'll fix this." It almost came out as a whine, the urge to keep everything in order oozing out from the ulterior of his words. "Nosotros podemos salvar esto. Please, please, please." He was at a loss, anxious and scared and trying his best to keep as calm as he possibly can– Miguel's native tongue always slipped into conversations at his most emotional, trying to convey his feelings as easily as possible.
Miguel's body pulled away only so he could grab your face gently, as if you were the most fragile thing in all the universes despite your life of busting noses and cleaning up the scum off every city, his suited palms met your skin and it was a bittersweet reminder of the lives you both had. The reason you two were never able to have that happy ending of yours.
"I can't bring myself to tell you," you mumbled, the furrow of his sharp eyebrows accompanied with the squint of disbelief had you wishing you could just scoop him up in your arms and tell him that this was just one big joke. He wouldn't talk to you for months, cold shoulder and all.
"You can tell me anything. Siempre." The last came out as hushed, a promise you've never heard from him before. Miguel has never truly given you more to work with other than physicality. It hurt knowing you could have had this all along.
Nightlife bled into your apartment, the vibrant lights fighting against the blinds you drew closed. A soft glare of yellow met a mole just below his lip and traced his nose before disappearing as if it was never there at all. A honk flooded the taut tension, almost making you jump in the light grasp he held onto you. You were wondering if he thought you were going to wash away the moment he let go of you, as if you were a sailor lost at sea and he was the broken anchor trying its best to keep you grounded.
Your teeth met your lip, rolling it around before metal met your tongue. The pain kept you in the moment, the soft echo of “tell him, tell him, tell him,” sounding throughout your head like an urgent emergency alarm. It was all too much. You couldn’t do it anymore.
One breath. Holding it, your confession came out a bit choked and ashamed. “I’m pregnant.” The second it left the confinement of your mind and left your tongue, you just wanted to go back into your room and dig a hole from your bed into the ground. The hold on your cheeks fell slack in shock, before Miguel’s claws that threatened to peak from his fingers trailed down the flesh of your collarbone and settled on your shoulders.
His habit of keeping eye-contact slipped, failing to keep up with your ever-changing gaze. Instead, he stared at you as if he was just something that defied both life and science itself, staring off into nothingness until finally knocking his forehead in the junction right above your heart– nose brushing your armpit. “¿Qué?” Was all he could bring himself to say, and you misconstrued his disbelief with disappointment.
You brought yourself to repeat what you had held back, tears falling from your puffy eyes. “I’m, I’m pregnant.”
“That’s–” A loss of words, must be trying to fabricate his anger into words. You had messed up, right? Maybe you deserved this–
“I’m sorry, Miguel. I’m sorry–” You cut him off, panic setting into your skin and wiring your brain to go into flight mode. “I was on the pill, and I made sure–”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say another word because the next thing you know is that Miguel’s surrounding you, hands wrapping around the back of your head in a messy tangle of curls wrapped around large fingers as your teeth clashed with his, lips intertwined with your own– your slightly chapped skin meeting his plush mouth. Spit and tears became one until you couldn’t tell anymore, and when the both of you separated a string of saliva was left in its wake. You were dazed from the abrupt need of touch, as Miguel huffed and stammered into your mouth over things he didn’t know how to express.
“No, stop. None of that, none of that matters.” He heaved, and you weren’t sure if the shine glazing his eyes were tears because the wetness clouding your gaze almost had you seeing double.
Confusion set in, replacing the prepared rambling you had of excuses. “You don’t?” You felt stupid for questioning him, but he only hissed an exhale through his teeth and shook his head as if the tension within him began deflating like a balloon.
“Never.” He assured, forehead meeting yours. “We’ve just never spoken about this before.” It almost came out sheepishly, a light shrug bumping your shoulders before his eyes drifted off. But they rested back on you within a blink.
Miguel breathed in deeply, as if he was having to take in oxygen and breathe out manually. His muscles within the constrictions of his suit rolled as he held himself hunched over you, trying his best not to be drafted away in thought. Something he found himself doing frequently whenever met with his computer panels.
A laugh couldn’t help but leave your throat as you bit back a sob. “Because you never wanted to.”
Nothing was said in response, and as you surveyed his darting gaze from your stomach to your lips, and finally your eyes– you felt as if you said something wrong. But he only sighed, nodding ever so slowly against your flesh.
“I was..” He fumbled with what he wanted to say, before finally screwing his eyes shut and hissing out; “scared.”
You stayed quiet for him to organize his thoughts, in which he slid his forearms around your back in gratitude and wrapped you in a hold that felt as safe as a weighted blanket.
“You, you are something else entirely. Me recuerdas al aire que respiro, algo sin lo que no puedo vivir. The rapture in my veins, the photo I find myself staring at often as if somehow you’ll jump right from the screen and engulf me with that warmth I cannot ever get enough of.” It was cheesy, but you knew he was trying his best in describing even a fraction of the amount he cared for you. “I just never knew how to go about it.”
“But you got me pregnant,” You teased weakly into his shoulder as you slid away from his forehead, the eye-contact he craved to contain grew overwhelming with the newfound emotion he had for you locked away.
“Christ,” he mumbled as he mirrored your actions, fangs finding their way to graze the skin just within the crook of your neck. “I heard you, you said you love me.”
“I shouldn’t.”
His movements still, embrace going rigid until you were the one to spill your feelings.
“We, we were never even supposed to meet. We’re from completely different worlds, the people are different and the places don’t add up–” You tripped over the thoughts you finally revealed as well, desperately trying to claw your worries out from the lump in your throat. “What about everything you said, are you willing to risk it all just for this? I don’t want you to stay awake at night when it comes to contemplating the idea that what had once happened before could happen again.”
Give yourself this, you wanted to say. You’ve worked so hard, just give yourself this.
Miguel stares at you, back and forth– each eye and giving it the same attention when his lip curls downward into a genuine wobble. He shakes his head, whether it be in incredulity over his final decision.
“I’m in love with you, too. Love you so much it hurts. Was just too afraid to let myself have you. Eres lo más preciado que tengo en el mundo, no matter where the Arachno Humanoid Poly Multiverse puts us.
“You are such a hidden nerd it hurts.” You find yourself joking with him, and you feel the smile against your skin.
“Only for you, I think.”
Silence enveloped the living room, an exhale of relief allowing itself to escape from your lips. A yawn followed, tiredness seeping into your muscles. “You’re stuck with me if you really do stay.”
The both of you get lost in the embrace of one another, Miguel hunched over into your form until your snores finally fill his ears and he scoops you up as gently as he’s ever handled you. “Te amo, mi lucero.”
“Te amo más,” you had mumbled sleepily as your arms found security around his neck.
And when you wake that morning, your face is met with his chest and your legs are tangled with his. His breath, stifling and hot, tickles the sleepy furrowed brow that creases your forehead. One of Miguel’s arms had found its way to become one with the pillow while the other presses you further into his chest on the small of your back. When he stirs, he blinks away sleep and takes your face into his calloused fingers, sweetly locking his lips with yours in a brief kiss. “Buenos días, mi cielo.” He whispered into the softness of your duvet. Your heart melts at the sight of it all.
He finally stayed.
You make him breakfast that morning and he makes sure your hair stays out of the way when you need to empty your stomach out of morning sickness.
..
He was a beautiful thing, you knew it from the first peek into his crying eyes. Auburn with a hint of crimson, Miguel's former genes trying its best to win a losing fight.
“Thank you,” you whispered into the delicate moment, watching your son wail softly in your tired embrace.
Miguel’s lips met your cheek bone, fluttering and sweet and different. His hand shakily cupped yours cradling your baby’s head. He was quiet for a long time, no huff of attitude that would meet your off-handed sweetness that secretly melted his heart ten-times over. You peered up at him, an exhausted yet bashful grin ebbing your features as each babble sounded throughout the hospital room. Miguel’s hair had gotten longer throughout the last eight months, curling at the end of his neck and almost brushing his shoulders. Glasses adorned the curvature of his nose, a twinkle that’s accompanied his crimson gaze ever since you cried out “I’m pregnant,” snot and tears and all. He hasn’t let go of himself perse, just more adamant to take care of himself for the sake of you and his family.
His family. If you had told him such a thing merely two years ago, he would have thrown a computer panel aiming straight for the nose and chased you around Nueva York like a rabid animal for such a cruel joke. Miguel almost winced, the baby fawn-like expression of his newborn son almost reminding him of the boy he did the exact thing he just described. After gaining a consciousness, he’s almost apologized in every possible way (not verbally, mainly by giving him an easier time) to that kid and his mom that almost beat his ass back on Earth-1610B.
As his gaze carved into his son’s own, it was like everything felt right. It was like every obstacle that got in the way of the both of you was worth the struggle.
“Gabri. Gabriel.” He breathed, nodding as if it made the most sense in the world.
Your laugh, airy and heavy but lighthearted all the same. “What?” Miguel couldn’t help himself when his hand moved on its own accord, swiping through your unruly and unwashed hair. You had been through it these past couple days, but to him you were nothing less than an angel. Had your hands not been occupied with the newfound bundle of joy the both of you had just welcomed into the world, you would have done the same to his curls. Down the same path, tugging on the grey streak that he stopped dying after months of your persistence.
The baby had Miguel’s eyes, but he had your lips. Your son had Miguel’s nose, but he had your chin. He coughed and snorted and did everything a baby would do, but with every little motion his hands could muster the energy for– had you forgetting every worry that had clouded your mind once before.
“Gabriel,” he repeated as he brought the tip of his index to tickle the palm of his, your son. “Gabri for short.”
“Miguel,” you sighed, with just as much weariness as you had when you asked him to leave your apartment that night. “You know it’s okay that you’re thinking about her–”
Miguel cut you off with a kiss, abrupt and short and sweet. It shut you up right away, a squeak coming out in surprise. His lashes were on full display as his gaze traced your lips before dipping back down to his baby in your loving hold. “Gabriel after my brother. I was going to name Gabriella after him had it been that way.” His brow furrowed faintly at the mention of his late daughter, yet a tiny turn of his mouth contrasted the subtle sorrow. “Namesake sort of thing, I think my mother would have liked it.” He confessed, a mellow fluster brushing his cheeks. Miguel was never one to talk about his parents, too much baggage that was locked away in the late nights of fluttering kisses and achingly tight holds. “Esto es importante para mí, por favor. Please, mi corazón.”
A little giggle of sorts interrupted the heartfelt communication, ripping your scanning, concerned gaze from your husband’s face. “Sé que es importante.” You murmured as a response, settling further into the near-uncomfortable fabric of the hospital bed. After complaining just a little to Miguel though, he had demanded you had the utmost care. He had brought you pillows from your own shared bed, alongside a new duvet from the hospital staff. You didn’t care to make another comment, knowing he’d break down the entire building in search of any aid to soothe your needs.
After a moment of contemplation and mainly just building suspense to get more of a reaction out of Miguel, you shook your head yes and grinned lazily. “Gabri. Lovely, baby.” You echoed your son’s name, hearing an intake of breath right next to your ear in a mixture of rare excitement and contentment that tickled the angle of your jaw and brushed hair upon your nose. Miguel must had seen the scrunch of your nose, as he had grazed where the hair had rested before.
Downright fatigue plagued your movements, wanting to celebrate this moment with Miguel but you had used all your energy in the process. So you leaned up only for him to usher you back down, using no words like he usually did. Quiet thing, he was– just a different atmosphere around his very soul nowadays.
“What can I do for you, my love?” He whispered into your hair, leaning down and getting on his knees to level himself with your exhausted expression. “Just say the word.”
“I need some sleep,” you huffed happily, wanting to trace the skin on his cheek as if he was the night sky and you were pointing out constellations. But you kept your fingers tucked safely around Gabriel until he reached out, allowing you to daintily place him in his own hold before another word between the both of you was uttered.
The dark hue of midnight black bled into the array of purple and pink, blessing the sunset with another hour of rest. It was fairly late already, judging by the amount of coffee cups Miguel had collected on the bedside desk like some kind of coffee connoisseur. When you had teased him about it earlier, he brushed you off with a faux frown and side-eye before laying his head back down on your thighs, giving into another nap before the baby was due.
“Get some rest then, cariño. Me and Gabri will be here, won’t we?” He practically cooed into the space of the newborn, where he was just met with a series of spit-filled babbles and prattle.
You couldn’t help but just nod, overtaken by the lull of sleep and comfort. Here Miguel was, sitting not even a foot away and practically spilling into the bed. He was a clingy thing whether he admitted or not, basking in the warmth your skin brought like a cat drawn to sunlight.
He was quiet as your breathing even out, watching his son like it was a dream he didn’t want to wake up from.
It wasn’t until you began snoring that he spoke to his son like an imagineer telling stories, light and fluttery yet raising in octaves to bring forth a squeal of tired excitement that Gabriel couldn’t grasp. And soon enough, Gabri was consumed with sleep in the embrace of his father who couldn’t stop shaking.
Was it nervousness? Disbelief? Fear? Miguel thought it was a scary concoction of all three filling his veins and causing his palms to grow clammy. But as a light gurgle escaped the small little thing in his hands and begged to be patted on the back, every insecurity that plagued his mind and consumed him washed away without a second thought.
A small, selfish part of him wished Gabriella was here to bask in the shared excitement between the both of you– but he knew she was gone. And you were here, and Gabri has come along too.
And that’s more than he ever thought he deserved.
#i had to write something before i exploded i missed writing so much .. please GIVE ME REQUESTS RAHH#ive been so busy and my sleep schedule SUCKS because i finally got a job#forgive me for no fics!! i feel so bad#into the spider verse#across the spiderverse#miguel o'hara comfort#x gender neutral reader#spiderman 2099#x comfort#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#comfort#x angst#angst#miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara angst
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🌞Sun isn't self-sacrificing 🌞
Let's talk about that.
Guess whom is back on her copium? This lady. Anyways, time for more rambles and brainrot.
Disclaimer: This is going to contain spoilers from tsbs, tsams, laes etc. but I'm keeping it pretty generic and vague. Just being polite and covering bases.
To begin with, Sun has shown some self sacrificing tendencies but what matters with a self sacrifice is intent. Our Sun in the show has not intended to die for another person. At least, the current lore Sun won't. I get the vibes Sun actually understands that everyone loves him and he wants to live and be with them.
Sun suffers from extreme self esteem issues. He's ok with grinding himself away to nothing if it means helping others, especially his family. He spent a majority of his life being terrorized and guilted by someone he loved with no real end in sight. On top of that, he was made to feel useless and stupid so he has a hard to recognizes he's already doing enough just by being.
Adding to this, just because he doesn't value himself that much doesn't mean he wants to die. At his lowest, Yes, he wished he was dead, but that doesn't mean he wants to die. Sun has a lot of life in him and a lot of love to give. When he's not being tortured Sun loves living.
When you think of someone who loves living with his family, it's hard to imagine they'd so easily die for them. We have to look at Sun's actions and words. My biggest example of this instance is the first time he planned to use Star Power to protect NM/Nexus, he didn't plan to die. He knew he might get hurt but he told NM/Nexus he wasn't aiming to sacrifice himself. He was trying to actually keep NM from sacrificing himself, like Old Moon. It's so funny how circular the argument in that moment actually was.
It's a similar situation to when he went rogue and wanted to kill the 2nd Eclipse. He told Old Moon "Screw being a hero!" To me, this communicates he isn't trying to do the heroic sacrifice or anything similar. He was labeled a bad guy by Lunar in their argument and decided to just lean into that "villain persona". This also plays into the fact heroes go out of their way to save lives but Sun is explicitly out to take a life. Now for a clever segway, the reason why I see Sun as not self-sacrificing is because he knows what he has to lose and he knows how it feels to lose everything. Old Moon made him feel that loss. Just the same as Old Moon taught him how to feel pain.
Sun's one of the gentlest and kindest people in the TSBS shows and that's due to him not ever wanting to make other feel the awful things he's felt. Most of his actions in the show are how he typically would want himself to be treated (Dark Sun waves in the background).
Just to add, Solar is SO similar to Sun. It's honestly so funny. He works so hard and ALSO grinds himself down to the bone just to be a bit helpful to the people he loves. He also felt the loss of a loved one's sacrifice and had to kill someone to defend himself. (IE Sun killing BloodMoon and Solar killing his Moon) He even shares a similar self esteem issue with Sun!
They're just two peas in pod, I love it.
I was planning to come in with a bunch of examples of character who ALSO have the self sacrificing tendency who aren't actually self sacrificing but I'm tired from a long sucky Monday so I'm gonna schedule post this and do my self sacrificer propaganda later.
But yeah, if Sun does die it probably won't be from a sacrifice. Even though most Sun's have a history of dying for others or being murdered early. I think it's so sad Sun's get boiled down to nothing but a sacrificial lamb to many Moon's bloodlust. Or they live long enough to be the plaything of a bigger/greater evil then Moon. looks at Servant Sun.
#brainrot#rambles#tsams rambles#yes I'm back on my copium#that's a quote from my friend and I will steal her words#no self sacrificial propaganda yet but soon#Monday Sucked hope everyone had a better day#Sun tsams#the sun and moon show#sun propoganda#sun truther#sun is my son#If I got anything wrong here please let me know#wrote this ramble while sleep deprived#lost my train of thought 3 times in a row so it's actually a shorter post then normal#schedule sending this so I can sleep in peace
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hear me out.
#inside out anxiety#inside out 2#idk what am i doing#my sleep scheduled is so messed p so sorry#my new fanfic sucks bruv idk how to write
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insomnia? do u mean my true crime podcast time
#u know bc now I can convince my brain I slept a little bc I had my eyes closed for like 2h while listening to it#it’s like u can almost gaslight it into thinking that that podcast was actually dreaming bc we for sure were asleep yes#also this sucks bc it’s ahead of its schedule; I can’t sleep during summers so like what is this then#the climate change is affecting my insomnia cycle damnit#real unfortunate tho if it keeps going for longer (just been like 2ish weeks now) bc I got a thesis plus other shit to do#(also to anyone who’s unclear on the subject; yes I have slept during these 2ish weeks I'm not dying i'm just hella tired bc it’s not good#refreshing long sleeps bc mf it takes like 5 hours to fall asleep)#(except today bc it’s 7am and I’m giving up on it & hopefully will have a nap sometime during the day idk)#(im tired and getting increasingly more stressed abt becoming more tired and then not having the energy to do things that I fully neeed to#get done and how the stress just yes helps ah nice)#(sorry for ranting in thr tags; weird state of mind here bc of aforementioned)#march 2024#2024
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Hey it's not the biggest detail but-
Kudo—
—And Bruce,
They have eyebags. Since their forms are from the time of the Resistance, they were probably tired and stressed. (Or they just have shit sleeping schedules)
"Even after death, we're still bound to our duties." (Kudo, ch. 414)
#sometimes i hc bruce as insomniac#depends on the fic really#as for kudo hc for the sake of funnies is that hes a phone addict with a terrible sleep schedule for it#the kind of person who eats bad tasting food exactly because it tastes bad#[kudo and his licorice ratings to find the worst one] [kudo “I had to eat them all to make sure they all sucked” the Second ofa user]#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#kudo#bruce#if u look at kudos concept art for the anime they even include eyebags#like specifically as a real detail that keeps showing up even in the manga#bruce doesnt have as many appearances as kudo man. or at least its easier to find panels of kudo#i didnt have many panels of bruce and didnt want to go through the anime again to look for his appearances#WHEN I REMEMBERED I HAD OTHER POSTS WITH HIM IN THEM#it looks like a detail they keep in the anime too. two of the bruce panels are the manga and anime version of the same scene#spoilers#sleep deprived stressed kiddos u go to sleep
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